Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
