help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
