these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
