I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
