do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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