Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
whose ass print is on the piano?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
