I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize