That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize