I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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