I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
