So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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