You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
