so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize