And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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