i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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