Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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