I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
