you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
