Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
