I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
