bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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