very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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