He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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