Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
