Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
