Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
