I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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