I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
