i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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