What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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