There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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