I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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