New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
where are my eyebrows?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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