hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
