Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize