i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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