don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
