So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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