My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
