I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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