Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
