seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
