Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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