Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
