very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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