Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
