just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
