Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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