Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
