and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize