so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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