Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
