i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
