I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
