DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
