In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The feeling are messing with the penis
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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