Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
