Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
